On Monday night I received word that one of my interns, a seminary student and our lead athletic chaplain, had died unexpectedly. At first it seemed unbelievable to me. Vernard Jones seemed too big and too strong to die so quickly. Hadn’t I just walked across campus with him? Wasn’t he just cheering on the football team on Saturday? Wasn’t there still an unanswered email from him in my inbox? At first, death always seems so unbelievable as if it’s only a mean trick and soon the person we love will come out of hiding or we’ll wake up from the bad dream. After all, how can someone be there one minute and be gone the next? And yet this is the truth of death. As unbelievable as it may seem the reality of it is unavoidable. People die and in an instant there is a space left where a person used to be.
After receiving the news about Vernard I phoned my husband Jeff and told him I hated death and I wished Jesus would come back so that all the death could be done. Jeff graciously listened to my rambling words of grief and then together we spent the next few hours reminding one another what we believe about life and death, resurrection and why it matters not only in death, but also for how we are living our lives.
I know that in recent years talking about heaven and the life we’ll have after this one has become passe to so many. Some call it “old school” and too pie-in-the-sky when there is so much work to be done here on earth. But I believe it matters that we follow of the One who conquered the grave, the One who did not remain dead but was resurrected and promised resurrection for all those who followed him. For it is in believing this unbelievable truth that we are able to live in view of all this death and still proclaim and live a life that is filled with hope.
Five years ago my husband Jeff and I experienced the devastating loss of our first child. We were just twenty-one weeks into the pregnancy when we found out that our baby’s heart had stopped beating. I was induced and we delivered a tiny little girl stillborn. I remember vividly the feeling of disbelief and the anger that ebbed and flowed. I remember not wanting God to come too close for I felt he had forgotten to look out for us and I remember uttering the words that Martha spoke when her brother died, “Jesus, if you had been there….” (John 11:21)
However in the days and weeks that followed those were not the only emotions or the only words spoken. I remember Jeff’s prayer as he shoveled dirt onto the tiny casket, “Oh God, so much I believe she is with you that I will bury her myself.” I remember standing over her grave and singing “Great is Thy Faithfulness” and believing it. I remember asking God to hold me close so that I wouldn’t run away when I didn’t understand. I remember making the decision to plant tulips, seemingly dead bulbs that held the promise of life in seasons to come. And I remember reading and rereading 1 Corinthians 15 about the resurrection of the dead and I remember recommitting my life to this wonderful truth that I cannot prove.
I will live as one who is not afraid of death for I know that death is not the end. The God I love and the God who loves me has put an end to the finality of death and has made it his business to bring life out of situations that seem lifeless. And so I will live as one who says, "Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?" For although we will all grieve at the moments of death there is an eternity that awaits us, an eternity where there will be no more sin, no more tears, no more death and no more devil. In light of this truth, a truth that I cannot prove but that I completely believe, I will live.
The apostle Paul says in his concluding words about the resurrection, “With all this going for us, my dear, dear friends, stand your ground. And don't hold back. Throw yourselves into the work of the Master, confident that nothing you do for him is a waste of time or effort.” (I Cor 15:58, MSG) What we believe about the resurrection and should affect how we put our faith into action. If we truly believe that our faith rests in the One who can bring life out of death we will walk through this death filled life differently. We will not hold back nor waste one more moment of this short life. We will be the ones who stare into the face of lifeless situations and speak life and resurrection. We will be the one’s who are not dismayed by the seemingly lifeless seeds that we plant for we will be confident that in the next season life will spring up.
