I like fairness. As a child I was the sibling that made sure that the cake was cut evenly, the free time was doled out justly and that no one received more than was their due. Fairness in my childhood system consisted of one basic guiding principle, that no one, except possibly me, would receive something they had not earned or did not deserve. As a reasonably well behaved child in the world of behavior modification I was aware that good behavior could go unnoticed and I made it my duty to make sure that such a travesty would not occur. Let me just say this, when you believe you are almost entirely good and mostly right, you are a pain in everyone’s backside.
As a child who was rooted in this system I understood why God loved me. What choice did he have? I hadn’t done anything terribly wrong and my report card showed all E’s for excellent, I was usually the first kid to memorize the Bible verse for Sunday School and from my perspective I was pretty sure I was the teacher’s favorite. God had to love me; I was entitled to it in the same way that the teacher had to acknowledge that I had the most points.
I know that the adults that surrounded my childhood were all very well intentioned when it came to their use of behavior modification, but the results of believing in a world that rewards good and punishes wrong have not been pretty. There is the pain-in-the-backside piece of which we all become when we believe we are deserving of reward and then there is the tragic belief that follows this line of thinking that states, privately if not publicly, that those who remain without reward are somehow rightfully without. /p>
This was the oversimplification that flowed from the followers of Yahweh as well. Obey and live, disobey and die. You read this in the book of Job where his “friends” try to convince him that his tragedy is a result of some sin that has gone unconfessed. You see this again in the gospels among the Pharisees and the followers of the law as they seek to make sense of a Messiah who has a preference for sinners. Why should sinners be blessed? Why should lawbreakers get the bigger piece of cake?
I sometimes long for the simple days of classroom behavior modification. Things seemed so much easier when we just judged everything at face value. However, looking back I do recognize that the system was oversimplified. It did not take into account that a student who had their parents attention in the evening, who was fed well at home and who slept in a bed was more likely to have behavior worth positive reinforcement. I am simultaneously aware that I was not nearly as good as my face value purported to be. The E’s were an accurate assessment of assignments completed but they did not take into account a heart that rejoiced when others were defeated, which is nowhere near excellent.
I am grateful for a God that does not judge us at face value, a God who does not treat us as our sins deserve, who causes the sun to rise on the evil and the good and who sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. (Luke 7:41-43, Psalm 103:10, Matthew 4:44-46). I am grateful that I follow a God who does not withhold love until I behave, but instead doles out love so that in response I will want to behave. As we seek to be a sign that point to this unfair God I pray that we would resist the temptation to oversimplify our assessments, that we would dig deeper than what we see at the surface and that we too would live in a way that causes people to ask why we are so generous with those who are “undeserving”.
